How to Keep Your Marriage From Sucking by Greg Behrendt

Author:Greg Behrendt
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
Publisher: Diversion Books
Published: 2018-05-29T16:00:00+00:00

7

it’s about you

but not only you

HERE IS A PERSPECTIVE we didn’t get until we had our own children. A marriage is the final nail in the “I don’t need you anymore” coffin. Of course, we don’t mean that as children being done with their parents. But let’s be honest—in agreeing to marry, you have officially decided to put your love, trust, care, and well-being into the hands of another person, and that person is not your parents, or however many people spent their time raising you. So, know this: Both of your parents will be on edge.

Therefore, it is crucial that you give both families a wide berth during wedding season. Especially the family that’s footing the bill. Change, no matter how great or beautiful, is always hard, so remember all their tension or unreasonable needs come from a place of not wanting to let you go yet—after all, you always will be their child. Or because they feel like they don’t have some say in your life anymore. (P.S. They always will a little bit.) That said, this is also the beginning of your own family. Even if it’s only the two of you, it’s now become what your parents’ family became—the most important relationship of your life. This is also the time when you politely claim your independence and start making decisions based on what’s best for the both of you and how you’d like to see your wedding play out.

As a new couple, we walked that tightrope pretty well and have continued to do so throughout our marriage. We made concessions because of our families’ various needs and health issues, but we still had the wedding we wanted. Neither of us was going to push anything that would make our wedding difficult or upset some familial balance. It wasn’t worth it to us to push something through at the expense of something important.

We did us while also respecting our families, and, quite honestly, it set the tone for our life. From our unconventional career choices to our children’s names, we welcomed Mom and Dad’s input, but we ultimately did what we did and still do. Now, to be fair, we happen to have beautiful families on both sides. Greg’s family can be a bit distant and Amiira’s family will share a bed with you if you let them, but it works.

Wedding planning stress and decisions may amplify a family’s challenging qualities. Things are very likely to get prickly between you and your family members. Everyone will just be in a heightened state of easily ignited agitation because of what the wedding means to them personally. Keep this in mind as you navigate the dynamics. There will be concessions that you must make for your fiancé’s family or for your fiancé, so they don’t have to go down the family drama rabbit hole and vice versa.

Your family won’t be a dream to your fiancé, either. Being in the middle between the person you’re marrying and your family is incredibly stressful and tough.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.